151 posts tagged “silly”
David Cronenberg has expressed interest in doing a sequel to Eastern Promises (true!).
Why?
My theory: there was not enough of Viggo Mortensen's bouncing testicles to satisfy the great director in the first film. The sequel will feature a box in the lower right corner of the screen, displaying a constant close-up detail of Viggo's junk. It'll be like closed-captioning, but with a cock-and-balls.
You heard it HERE!
The relationship between a cupcake and a breast should be pretty obvious to anybody who's spent enough time looking at examples of both (which I certainly have done). SO OBVIOUS, in fact, that you would think it would be a simple thing to find a picture of a naked girl with cupcakes stuck to her tits.
You would be mistaken. Perhaps my keywords were not the best, but once you've exhausted "cupcake breasts", "cupcake tits", and "cupcake titties", there's not really much left. I did learn that "cupcake tits" is an expression that is used to describe young women with the sort of tiny breasts that make them look 13 years old, and also that "cupcake" is, by itself, a slang term for a hot young 'un.
But the photo I sought eluded me.
I found:
Cupcakes SHAPED like tits:
While trying to think of what to post for SLEEPY PUPPIES day, I of course went to YouTube to see how many videos I would have to choose from. There are approximately 8,460 videos of sleepy puppies there.
8,460.
How can one even hope to choose from this embarrassment of riches.
But are sleepy puppies truly the ruler of the video roost?
Sadly, no.
They are beaten out by:
GIRLS KISSING--246,000 videos
STRIPPING--161,000
NAKED GIRLS--95,200
GIRLS IN THE SHOWER--11,300
I know what you're thinking: "Oh, big surprise, Kevin! People are more interested in hot girls than sleepy puppies! What a discovery!"
But here are some other things that people are surprisingly more interested in than sleepy puppies:
PAULA ABDUL--11,800 videos
ZEBRAS--21,100
PARROTS--46,300
However, sleepy puppies beat the hell out of:
DAVID HASSELHOFF--3,880 videos
AQUAMAN--2,720
And most importantly:
SLEEPY KITTENS--4,110 videos
Yeah! FUCK YOU SLEEPY KITTENS.
In summation:
Do you ever worry that your online reputation could hurt you the next time you're looking for a new job?
My online reputation is impeccable.
Isn't that right, naked girl on the toilet?
You have four unexpected guests showing up for dinner in less than an hour, you haven't been to the store in days, and you want to impress them with a delicious meal. Luckily, you find just the thing, and soon your guests arrive and are partaking of your improvisational feast with many compliments about its deliciousness. But then, suddenly, the lights switch off in your dining room, and there is a scream and sounds of a struggle! A shot rings out! A body heavily falls to the floor. When the lights return, you see that one of your dinner guests, a Mr. Solomon Marche, is lying on the floor, blood pooling about his body. Rebecca Marche, his wife, screams and faints. You are astonished to find a smoking gun in your hand, warm from its recent violence. Stan Dougherty and Wayne Peterson are looking at you accusingly. You swear to God you didn't kill Solomon! You were old friends! What do you do? Oh, God, what do you do?
I call up my old college chum and world-reknowned detective Professor Mercule Endeavour, to help me solve this dastardly crime. I will not be framed for a murder I didn't commit!
Share your favorite winter photograph.
What are you doing to save money during this economic downslide?
Submitted by Jenn.
I've stopped paying extra for the "happy ending" when I go in for a massage.
A couple in Boca Raton has cloned their dear departed dog, Lancelot. So far, they say that he is eerily similar to his genetic forefather. For instance:
- He is frequently startled by his own farts.
- Often, he barks, and then when you look where he is barking, there is nothing there.
- He has a disgusting love of cat feces, and will raid it from the litter box no matter how often you tell at him.
- He licks his balls in the middle of the carpet when you have company over.
Truly, this is a scientific marvel. Good thing they paid 150 grand for the cloning, because they never would have found another dog so much like their old one.
Anybody who has read my blog for awhile knows that when I latch onto a silly idea, I need to pursue it to its end. With that in mind, please enjoy these photographic amusements:
