2 posts tagged “david cronenberg”

David Cronenberg has expressed interest in doing a sequel to Eastern Promises (true!).

Why?

My theory: there was not enough of Viggo Mortensen's bouncing testicles to satisfy the great director in the first film.  The sequel will feature a box in the lower right corner of the screen, displaying a constant close-up detail of Viggo's junk.  It'll be like closed-captioning, but with a cock-and-balls.

You heard it HERE!

• The Death Proof DVD is awesome.  If you liked the movie in the theater (if you're one of the 20 people who bothered seeing the best bargain of the year), you're going to love this DVD set: extended movie, the full lapdance, a bunch of behind the scenes featurettes.  Unfortunately, no amount of special features can improve that awful scene where the second set of girls sits around a table talking forfuckingever, but still...it's a good time.  Car crashes are groovy.  Kurt Russell is a god amongst men.  Rosario Dawson is so cute it should be a crime.  Pick it up if you want to hang with the cool kids.
• The series premier of Chuck was light, pleasant entertainment.  The leads are all appealing, the supporting cast not so much (that guy who plays Chuck's insensitive, bearded friend/coworker...I'm not liking him).  I don't know how long this premise can play out (isn't all of this data in Chuck's head eventually going to be too old to be of any use?), but I'll give it five or so episodes.  Gotta do something while waiting for Heroes to come on, anyway.
• Speaking of Heroes, it looks like the writers are still basically talentless at story pacing.  For instance, the episode is called "Four Months Later", but we pick up with Hiro at the precise second that we left him last season.  I get that he's in another time, and maybe the "Four Months Later" thing doesn't really apply to him, but it would have been nice to have some consistency.  Claire got to do nothing of note, Nathan's a drunk, Peter has amnesia, Parkman is dealing with the brat Molly (she has at least improved as an actor since last year), Mohinder's doing whatever the hell his boring ass does, the Nikka/Jessica-Micah-D.L. troika of terrible actors is nowhere to be seen (and not missed), and they appear to have killed off George Takei.  Hippity fucking hooray.  A pretty lame way to start the season.  As usual, Hiro is the only member of the cast who seems to be having an interesting adventure.  Oh, we also meet a kid who's interested in Claire and can also fly.  Season 2, and they're already running out of superpowers.  Egad.  This better get a whole lot more interesting a whole lot faster.
• 94.7 KNRK's (my local "alternative" station) stated goal: "To be the number one station in your cubicle."  In other words: "To be safe, familiar, and nonthreatening but still just barely edgy enough for you to listen to at work so that you can feel like the cool person on your floor without actually running any risk of offending anybody."  Hey, guys, congratulations!  GOAL ACHIEVED, FUCKERS.
• Eastern Promises was a lackluster, formula script elevated by David Cronenberg's steady, audacious hand and Viggo Mortensen's already legendary performance.  Highly recommended for the sheer craftsmanship on display.  The story, however, is pure TV movie, so don't expect too much from it.