16 posts tagged “advertising”
If you were sent to prison for an undefined amount of time, what would you miss most?
Probably being able to masturbate in private.
Furthermore, ONCE AGAIN, VOX, fuck your fucking sponsored QotD's that graffiti your greed all over our blogs.
These commercials are the ultimate tool for spotting idiots. If you're in a movie theater, and they play this commercial before the feature, anybody who laughs is an idiot (I witnessed this phenomenon while waiting for Watchmen). This is a no-fail method.
So far we've had a baby puking, a baby berating his golf partner, and one in which the baby receives a sexy text from his girlfriend. I guess that's supposed to be "cute"? People are spazzing out about the new Britney Spears single, but this is okay? Implied baby-fucking is just adorable?
I hope the cretinous ad agency that spawned these commercials experiences serious personnel shortages because their ad geniuses keep dying of virulent ass-cancer.
What story of personal greatness, achievement or success would your co-workers or friends be surprised to learn about you?
I cannot think of any personal stories of greatness, achievement, or success that do not involve a roleplaying game character, which is possibly the saddest comment upon a life that a person can make.
Also, I notice that this QotD is sponsored, and that a sponsorship link shows up in our post when we answer it (I have erased this link). Remember how much I bitched about this crap the last time you did it, Vox? I'm not any cooler about it now than I was then. Please stop trying to slip adverts into our content. It is beyond sleazy. Sponsorship is a necessary evil, but nobody wants a corporation's brand splashed across their blog posts.
Or in their tags, for that matter.
Sir, you have douche-y hair and a smug face that screams to be flattened with a snow-shovel. Please draw a big rubber dick on your magic whiteboard and animate it fucking you in the ass for eternity.
This AT&T Valentine's Day commercial:
Now, as anybody who grew up on a steady diet of the Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Show in the 70s can tell you, this commercial gets everything exactly wrong. The cat never painted herself like a skunk to entice Pepe Le Pew. It was always an accident, and she was always trying to get away from him, because he stinks and he's a fucking stalker. This ad, as do most modern commercial uses of the classic Warner Bros. characters, takes a giant shit on the legacy of these characters, all the while callously exploiting that legacy and the fond memories people have of enjoying those brilliant little bursts of chaos and absurdity we call "Warner Brothers cartoons".
AT&T ad men: please burn in hell.
This commercial is the end of my interest in Beyonce:
Every massively overexposed celebrity has a moment you can point to as the moment when they became unbearable. For me, it is this goddamned commercial that I see about 12 times a day. I am so beyond bored with this dull, dull woman. Her music is the most paint-by-numbers, derivative R&B bullshit, her acting is of the sub-Will Smith variety, and in her personal life...well, the rumor is that Jay-Z beats her up.
And some people consider her a role model.
I don't like her. I'm not even "into" her in "that way" any longer. I certainly don't need to see her on my television hawking every product that John MacEnroe and Payton Manning haven't gotten their mitts on.
Go away, Beyonce.
Have you noticed that there are two versions of the new Guitar Hero commercial with Heidi Klum?
There is the "safe" version:
And then there is a 5000% more awesome version:
My point: if your favorite cable channel plays the "safe" version of this commercial, it is run by assholes.
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[This is post #11 of NaBloPoMo]
I spend a lot of time half-asleep in front of the tv lately as I try to recover from this multi-week streak of illness and insomnia, so I'm never 100% sure that what I'm watching is actually happening. In fact, I'd nearly convinced myself that I had imagined this entire commercial:
If only I had. Note to self: never stay in one of these hotels. Everything will smell like stale farts.
Can we please keep marketing separate from the module on the main page that is supposed to represent the best of user-created content? Anybody who gives two shits that the Olsen twins are launching another crappy tentacle of their empire already knows this, because they read about it in Talentless Troll Doll Monthly. Why must I be burdened with this information upon signing into my account?
I am very suspicious of your motivation behind featuring the Olsens and Jennifer Lopez in this space, Vox. Please mark advertising, sponsored links, sponsored blogs, etc., as such, CLEARLY, and leave the damn [this is good] module alone. Maybe if that module came across as more than a crass marketing tool, I might click on something in there once in awhile.
This sort of stuff just emphasizes the morphing of Vox into a cold, brutal marketing platform, and I don't like it. My enthusiasm for participating here wanes monthly, and this mercenary vibe is part of the reason.
