Hey, Negroes! Also a Shout-Out to My Caucasian Brothers and Sisters!

nobody@vox.com(Kevin Wolf) — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 10:19:53 -0700

The new version of this blog is over here now: http://sogoddamnclever.blogspot.com/. It's different from my pop-culture blog, but EXACTLY the same as this one, so go ahead and add another bookmark to your browser unless you're too goddamn lazy to push a button.

Later, my multicultural homies!

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Enough

nobody@vox.com(Kevin Wolf) — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 09:37:21 -0700

After being frustrated yet again by your inferior blog input screen, with disappearing cursors and with the whole thing getting screwed up if you dare to insert a photo, I've decided not to post anything here. If the Exalted Vox Masters would deign to actually do some fucking maintenance, that would really be great.

This place is falling apart: it's slow, it's buggy, and none of you assholes at Six Apart seem to care as long as the ad dollars keep coming in.

I have a new blog now: it's here: www.pop-ogre.com. Inputting blogs is a cinch, and it's fast as hell. The community I love is not present yet, but I expect a lot of you have alternative blogs over there as well. Don't be afraid to make contact.

I'll still pop by to read up on my neighbors, but until the serious problems with posting are fixed, I'm not going to bother to write anything.

Later, Vox. You used to be a pretty cool website.

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The Pop Ogre

nobody@vox.com(Kevin Wolf) — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 16:43:14 -0700

Hey, y'all!

I've started a new blog to mouth off about pop culture. It's still in its fledgling stage, so be kind. It's over here: The Pop Ogre. I'll be posting to it regularly when I want to vent my spleen about pop culture or review the latest thing I've seen. What this means, unfortunately, is that thusly-themed posts will dry up around here.

Sorry about that. But I don't believe you need to join Blogger to comment over there, so go ahead and bookmark that shit.

Later.

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Just So You Know...

nobody@vox.com(Kevin Wolf) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 15:48:57 -0700

My Twitter has been a wonderland of awesome today. If you want, nay, crave, nay, NEED the total Kevin Wolf experience, you're really missing out if you're not following me over there.

Just sayin'.

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Chat: "Tiger"

nobody@vox.com(Kevin Wolf) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 11:24:18 -0700

Jill: Yum. lunch out of a vending machine.

me: Keep the Eye of the Tiger.

Jill: I think the Eye of the Tiger is completely sustained by vending machine food.

me: Must be a pretty sickly Tiger, then, with a rheumy, near-sighted Eye.

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Dialogue from Life #18

nobody@vox.com(Kevin Wolf) — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 12:01:31 -0700

While at the downtown library, I am approached by a woman in Standard Crazy Person attire, smiling beatifically.

-----

Crazy Woman: [Approximately translated from The Crazy from memory] People measure behavior! We have happiness, sadness, and freedom! [Nods as if to say, "Yep!"]

Me: Lovely. [Gives strained, frightened smile and scurries away]

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Heroes Quiz

nobody@vox.com(Kevin Wolf) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 21:38:53 -0700

If you are a superhero who can FLY, and you are in a giant cathedral while federal agents are searching the pews for you, what do you do? Bear in mind that you can FLY.

A) You hide in the rafters.
B) You fly to the ceiling and crash out through a window.
C) You fly up, land behind the agents, walk out the damn door, and then fly off again.
D) You hide in a goddamned motherfucking confession booth from which there is no escape, hoping maybe that the person who discovers you has his own agenda and lets you go, which let's face it, would be luck of the dumbest kind.

If you chose D), you are Peter Petrelli, the stupidest character in prime time.

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Weirdo Movie News

nobody@vox.com(Kevin Wolf) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 17:39:15 -0700

David Cronenberg has expressed interest in doing a sequel to Eastern Promises (true!).

Why?

My theory: there was not enough of Viggo Mortensen's bouncing testicles to satisfy the great director in the first film. The sequel will feature a box in the lower right corner of the screen, displaying a constant close-up detail of Viggo's junk. It'll be like closed-captioning, but with a cock-and-balls.

You heard it HERE!

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Porn Twittering

nobody@vox.com(Kevin Wolf) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 12:43:33 -0700

You may be aware of this service called Twitter, a micro-blogging site which, according to the mainstream media, is swallowing our children's souls or something. I am part of the new micro-blogging revolution, and as a result my maxi-blog has been terribly neglected, for which I am sorry. Twitter is shiny and new, and Vox is comparatively old and busted. Thus are the cruel vicissitudes of the Internet.

There is a phenomenon of celebrity Twitterers, and I in general have a rule where I don't follow celebs, because they are for the most part vaccuous and self-serving Billy Hufsey-esque strokers of their own egos. However, a few are cool, and actually provide amusing content.

There are porn stars who use Twitter, and the one that I follow is Sasha Grey, for the simple reason that she is the greatest porn star in the world.

You Could Disagree, but You Would Be Wrong

The interesting thing about her Tweets is that they are almost wilfully mundane, as if to say, "Hey, Internet wankers, I'm more than a dick-sucking machine." I appreciate this, especially in Grey's case, as she has proven that her ambitions extend beyond leather sofas and restroom floors. Good for her. If her Twitters were all about getting drilled in the ass, I probably wouldn't bother.

However!

Her role as a satisfier of selfish male sex fantasies will always be a part of her public image, no matter how many Stephen Soderberg movies she makes, so is it too much to ask that she mix just a LITTLE bit of smut into the feed? You know: "I went shopping and found the best pair of shoes, but not in my size! :( Then later, I sucked three cocks."

That would really be terrific.

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QotD: Prison Time

nobody@vox.com(Kevin Wolf) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 11:58:29 -0700

If you were sent to prison for an undefined amount of time, what would you miss most?

Probably being able to masturbate in private.

Furthermore, ONCE AGAIN, VOX, fuck your fucking sponsored QotD's that graffiti your greed all over our blogs.

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