While watching A Knight's Tale on TBS, we saw a commercial for Zack and Miri Make a Porno.
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Me: The thing about this movie that bugs me is that they're making a porn version of Star Wars called Star Whores, which has already been done in reality.
Jill: Maybe that's the point, that they're so pathetic.
Me: Maybe...I just wish it would be a porn version of a movie that nobody would ever do...like the porn version of Citizen Kane.
(Jill laughs.)
Nanda: Or the porn version of The Miracle Worker.
Me: Dammit, Nanda, you're not supposed to say something funner than me!
(An aside: My raised voice scares a fart out of Stella.).
Me: The porn version would be called The Genital Worker.
(Nanda laughs, and I see Jill making an annoyed face to herself. Finally, she mutters through her teeth, as if she's loath to participate:)
Jill: The Miracle Wanker.
Maybe I'm behind the times a bit on this, but hell, they've already got the sequel movie in development.
You can't read the fine print in the preview image, but it's there: "[now pull your panties down]".
Here.
The Soviettes are one of my favorite punk-pop bands, and I was wondering why they haven't released an album in awhile when they were releasing them pretty steadily. As it turns out, it's because they aren't really a band anymore. This is very depressing, BUT: two of the Soviettes, arguably my two FAVORITE Soviettes, have a weirdo music project called Awesome Snakes. The songs are mostly two-minute or less propulsive little punk numbers about how awesome snakes are, and I can't begin to tell you how much I love this shit.
Here's a sample:
Yep, it's a new group. This one offers a new theme every weekday, and then we can all post blogs, media and photos around that theme for the day, all of which we post to the group. Should be an interesting experiment, which you all should participate in. The themes could be anything from abstract concepts (individuality, loyalty) to silly stuff (pirates, Frankenstein). Yes, I will take suggestions: PM me.
I'll post the theme for Monday right now in the group, so that we can get a head start on the whole premise.
Two middle-aged women came into the store. You know the kind: the ones that are constantly shrieking with laughter, probably because they're never more than an hour away from a margarita.
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ONE MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN TO ANOTHER: I'm hungry, but I want something healthy.
CASHIER: There is nothing healthy at 7-11.
I've gotten in the habit over the past week and a half or so of taking a bath late at night and reading while I'm in there. I know that men who take baths are considered to have some genetic defect, or perhaps an extra X chromosome or something, but why should ladies have all the fun? Baths are extremely relaxing. They are the second-most pleasurable thing you can do while alone and naked (plus, if you are so inclined, the number-one most pleasurable thing can be combined with the bath in a super-pleasure-ultimate-relaxation technique that you shouldn't do too often, really, lest you spend your entire life in there).
Anyway, I'm starting to worry that I'm conditioning myself to two things; namely, that I soon won't be able to go to sleep without first taking a bath, and that I soon won't be able to read unless I'm reclined in hot water. These possibilities are both problematic, in that sometimes I don't have time to bathe, and sometimes I want to read without drawing a bath first.
The other night I had a BUBBLE bath, which was entirely too luxurious, something akin to the heroin of personal hygiene.
I think this is getting to be a problem.
You ARE aware that I can buy cookies from other purveyors, right? Thin Mints aren't SO amazing that I can't buy some ripoff Skinny Minties or something somewhere else.
Baldwin and Hopkins are both excellent, giving better performances than a film about a killer bear really deserves. Some aspects of the film might strain credulity, but then again, some elements of Jaws do the same, and what is this if not Jaws in a forest? Baldwin is chief Brody re-imagined as a sleazeball, and Hopkins is a sort of Hooper/Quint hybrid (the closest thing this movie has to a full-fledged Quint gets left behind at the lodge, which is too bad).
This flick doesn't get the props it deserves, which is too bad, since it might contain one of Hopkins' best post-Oscar performances. Any movie that offers us the rare treat of watching a revered Shakespearean thespian and Knight of the Realm shoving a sharpened stake in a roaring bear's face while calling him a motherfucker needs to be re-appraised by the critical elite.
